Maybe Bambi Is A Big Fat Jerk Face

So, I got the sun burn today. This is kind of a good thing. I mean- warmer weather is always fun! Spring is such a tease though. Sure, I got the sun burn today, but forecast for tomorrow is snow...!? Eff!

I got burnt working in the yard. In the garden specifically. Yes- a garden. Tomatoes. Green peppers. Cabbage. Red peppers. Squash. And some other crap. What? No, of course not. I have never grown a garden. But I did stay in a Holiday Inn. He he... never gets old.

The biggest problem with the garden? Bambi and friends. There so much hate. And it goes a long ways back. Like- three years. It runs deep, the hate. Elisten, elook... let me esplain. I show you. (That's how our tour guide talked at Tulum. It's funny. Random- sure. But funny.)

I have put blood, sweat and tears into this yard. Seriously. We have not paid anyone to do anything. It's been all elbow greese. Santaquin is rock and clay. No joke. So, in order to get a good lawn, I had loads and loads of good top soil trucked in. Then I spread it with a bobcat. Then I installed the sprinkler system. Then, the Nurse and I cut the lines to define the grass and the flowerbeds. Then we started looking for a very specific blend of grass (Magic Carpet). Which we finally found in Salt Lake. Then we spent hours and hours raking and dragging a ladder all over the yard to make sure it was perfectly flat. Then, we spent hours spreading seed and rolling the seed. Then hours spreading saw dust on top of the seed. And finally it was time to water and watch the fruits of our labors grow!

The next morning, I walked out to go to work and what did I see? I friggin' heard of bambi's freakin' streaked through my fetching front yard and tore my yard to shreds and bits! Aarrrggghhhhh!!! It started a war that is still waging today. I have contemplated breaking many laws to fight this battle. I really have. They have been eating our plants... taring up our lawn... pooping everywhere. They fight so dirty. Don't you believe that stupid Disney movie for a minute!

This is probably how you think of deer...

However, this is reality...




This brings us to today- the garden, the sun burn and the deer. We got some super uber totally and completely stinky deer/bambi repellant to keep them off our veggies. The Nurse spread it. She stunk so bad. I wanted her to go to Nebraska with her stink. Sorry Nurse- I do love you.

As for the dear repellant- if this does not work, the only other option I can think of is land mines, trip wires and hi-powered assault rifles.

Apparently, the writer of this comic has the same feelings about deer as I do...