Maybe Good Headphones

I love music. If you know me you know this. And while I love to hear my music reproduced through high quality equipment- I'm no audiophile. I have never really invested in any high-end gear. My first pair of decent cans (over-the-ear) were used by Jasa as a stepping stool when she was two (about five years ago). They did not serve well in that capacity.

Two or three years ago, the Nurse got me a 5th gen 30G iPod for valentines day. Quite possibly the greatest gift I have ever received. I heart my iPod so much. Though, I am convinced that she has often questioned her decision to purchase it for me... She doesn't love it so much.

Now, most of my time with the iPod, I have simply used the standard earbuds that came with the it. I know... not the best sound. A year after she got me the iPod, the Nurse got me a $20 or $30 pair of Sony over-the-ear headphones for listening at home. Sure, they were not high-end, but the sound was way better than the generic white ear buds. However, these two would be used by one of my children in a manner not intended by the manufacturer. They did not survive. Dang it Jonas!

Little while before the Sony's were messed, the white buds started crackling. After a long search, I purchased some $30 vmoda vibes. They have very decent sound considering the price and are very comfy in the ears. But have not faired well in their capacity as the "on-the-go" phones. Some electrical tape is keeping them alive and together currently. Oh well.

Which brings us to Monday- I received my first pair of what might be labeled as "high end headphones." These cans are friggin' amazing! They are AKG k240 Semi Open Studio Headphones.



They are big and bulky and I look like a nerd in them... but none of that matters when you hear Ray LaMontagne's "Shelter" through them. You will melt! Everything is so crystal clear! And this is just straight from the iPod... not even using an amp or anything. Plus, they are crazy comfy on the head and ears. I LOVE THEM!!! I love everyone that has anything to do with their ever being invented, produced, shipped and sold. You are all great. Hip hip hurray for headphones!!!

Maybe Bambi Is A Big Fat Jerk Face

So, I got the sun burn today. This is kind of a good thing. I mean- warmer weather is always fun! Spring is such a tease though. Sure, I got the sun burn today, but forecast for tomorrow is snow...!? Eff!

I got burnt working in the yard. In the garden specifically. Yes- a garden. Tomatoes. Green peppers. Cabbage. Red peppers. Squash. And some other crap. What? No, of course not. I have never grown a garden. But I did stay in a Holiday Inn. He he... never gets old.

The biggest problem with the garden? Bambi and friends. There so much hate. And it goes a long ways back. Like- three years. It runs deep, the hate. Elisten, elook... let me esplain. I show you. (That's how our tour guide talked at Tulum. It's funny. Random- sure. But funny.)

I have put blood, sweat and tears into this yard. Seriously. We have not paid anyone to do anything. It's been all elbow greese. Santaquin is rock and clay. No joke. So, in order to get a good lawn, I had loads and loads of good top soil trucked in. Then I spread it with a bobcat. Then I installed the sprinkler system. Then, the Nurse and I cut the lines to define the grass and the flowerbeds. Then we started looking for a very specific blend of grass (Magic Carpet). Which we finally found in Salt Lake. Then we spent hours and hours raking and dragging a ladder all over the yard to make sure it was perfectly flat. Then, we spent hours spreading seed and rolling the seed. Then hours spreading saw dust on top of the seed. And finally it was time to water and watch the fruits of our labors grow!

The next morning, I walked out to go to work and what did I see? I friggin' heard of bambi's freakin' streaked through my fetching front yard and tore my yard to shreds and bits! Aarrrggghhhhh!!! It started a war that is still waging today. I have contemplated breaking many laws to fight this battle. I really have. They have been eating our plants... taring up our lawn... pooping everywhere. They fight so dirty. Don't you believe that stupid Disney movie for a minute!

This is probably how you think of deer...

However, this is reality...




This brings us to today- the garden, the sun burn and the deer. We got some super uber totally and completely stinky deer/bambi repellant to keep them off our veggies. The Nurse spread it. She stunk so bad. I wanted her to go to Nebraska with her stink. Sorry Nurse- I do love you.

As for the dear repellant- if this does not work, the only other option I can think of is land mines, trip wires and hi-powered assault rifles.

Apparently, the writer of this comic has the same feelings about deer as I do...

Maybe This Will Be Good...

Remember Max? Mischievous Max! Off to bed without his supper? Quite possibly one of THE best children's books. Ever.

I learned sometime ago that it was being made into a movie. I remember I groaned audibly. I remember when I saw that Spike Jonze was directing. I double groaned double audibly. You know why? Read my post on Hollywood perverting my childhood television shows- that's why.

And besides, how the h-e-double-hockey-sticks were they going to make a feature film from the material provided in a childrens book? I mean...?

I remember I saw the first still images from the movie released. Max was in his furry pj's, complete with crown.



Remember I saw the first image of one of the wild things, and thought, "huh... he looks like the wild things in the book. Nice."



And, I remember how (five minutes ago) I watched the first trailer here. And almost started crying (seriously) as I watched what looked like a very faithful interpretation of the book I love so much. Great music. Great story. Could be a heck of a lotta fun!

Maybe We Should All Plant More Trees!

I love the earth... but I'm not what you would call earthy.

I went tree shopping today. For my lunch hour. With the Nurse. And Jonas and Teya. This is not my first time tree shopping. Not by a long shot. The Nurse has taken me tree shopping several times. Sometimes, if I sit and think about it, I cannot believe how many trees I have purchased. By my count, we have about twenty in our yard right now. They are all very, very young (we put the front yard in mostly last year and will hopefully get most of the side yard and back yard done this summer).

We bought five more today. No, seriously. Stop laughing. We really did.

I'm certain that the Nurse is on a personal mission to counter the deforestation of the Amazon rain forests. Bless her heart!


This is one of the lucky ones to come home with us. It's a pussywillow salix curly locks... I guess. May it find all the peace and happiness it's looking for while living in my yard. I'm so excited to dig a gigantice hole in the rocky Santaquin soil for it. Really excited. Really.

Maybe I Heart Tacos

I am not finger pointing. It seems a little childish. And I am above that. That said, if I just HAD to point to why I might be tackin' on a few el bees (lb = pounds), I would have to point to this:


This is what I had for lunch today. It is what I have for lunch... many days. Today, the lady behind the counter took my order without even asking what I wanted. Last time I was there, they gave me a $10 gift certificate, made out to "VIP." I love Mexicans! I love that they make Mexican tacos all plump full of goodness! I love that they want to feed them to me and I only have to pay them money! I love when those tacos find their way into my belly! Oh my gosh!

If there is a taco shop in heaven, and no doubt there shall be, it will be El Taco Riendo. (Only in heaven, it will not be living with a gas station/bong and pipe/knife/convenience store). It will stand on it's own- tall and confident because of the bliss it clearly knows it manufactures taco by heavenly taco.

Can I get a price check on perfection? Uh... it's $1.49 per. For real.

What you should order: tres de adobada y una de asada; take them over to the fixin's- a healthy portion of the creamy green tomatillo salsa, then a lighter portion of the red salsa on top, then some onions and then cilantro. Finish the plate with a healthy portion of marinated jalepenos in the middle of the plate. Provecho!!!

However, do not let my total addiction to this plate sway you from other delights. The burritos, huarachas, gorditas and tortas are absolutely stunning. Art on a styrofoam plate.

It's ALL so good your stomache will ache, your bowels will cramp and hours later your anus may beg for mercy... but you won't care. You'll go back.

All true.

Maybe I Told You So!

What the...!!??? I have secret powers. They might be for sale... or for hire. Please see my uberlong post here... and now, see this. I know... freaky!!!

Maybe Not Really A Holiday

Ummm..... I have been sitting here. For a LONG time and thinking. I don't ever remember one single day off of school or work for St. Patrick's day. Even more, I don't remember any specific St. Patrick's Day- at all! Ever. Nothing distinct out of any past Paddy's day comes to mind. I'm just sayin'... the whole thing feels a little half baked to me.

I wanted to know more- try and figure out what I was missing. So I did a little digging at La Wikipedia- the all-knowing oracle. You can read about the non-holiday holiday here. It was informative and interesting. But I'm still not seeing holiday material here.

Still, some good did come of all of this. As I tried so hard to think of all-things-Irish, I remembered one of my favorite books- Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist. I believe it was one of the very first books that I appreciated for the writing itself- with little regard to the story. I was awe struck and totally infatuated with Joyce's pros. Because of that experience, I have Finnegan's Wake and Ulysses on my list of things to do before I die. Therefore, as my official celebration of Mr. Palladius (and I guess the Irish in general)- on this day I purchased Finnegan's Wake and I have committed to read it by summer's end (and probably revisit Portrait for a 3rd time... why not?).

This is a big deal. don't act like it's not.

Happy non-holiday to you too.

Maybe Next Time I See Hollywood I'm Going to Punch Them in The Weener...

I don't know if making all of my sacrosanct childhood television shows into live action movies is the best idea. I mean, if I'm honest, I screamed like a litle girl and peed my pants the first time I saw Optimus- big, bad and live on the silver screen. (And go somewhere else if you want to discuss the ethics of peeing your pants in a theatre- this is NOT that place!) Well, not live per se... but, CGI is so hot right now! Question is, did Mr. Michael Bay besmirch what was once so sacred to me?

I was actually quite forgiving of Bay's Transformers. I know there are a lot of haters. I was entertained. Still, with GI Joe on the cusp and whisperings of the likes of Voltron, Smurfs, Thundercats and another He-Man being in the works- I am a torn man. I'm just sayin'...

Part of me wants these beautiful precious treasures from the 0-so-special-80's enshrined, not exploited. The other me wants to see a live action Lion-O do some serious shredding with that so sweet Sword of Omens!!! I love Thundarians. So much. (Thundercats are Thundarians from the planet Thundar. Surprised you didn't know that).



Let us look closer together. Hold my hand:

Ruined:

• Dukes of Hazzard (this... this was such a pearl not to be trifled with... those... those bastards... sigh)
• Alvin and The Chipmunks (eh)
• Scooby-doo (eh)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (eh)
• Inspector Gadget
• The Flintstones (eh)
• He-Man (Twice! Two times ruined!)

Not ruined:

• Battlestar Gallactica (I know... it's TV)
• Transformers
• X-Men (I personally enjoyed all three)
• Spiderman (I like them for the most part)
• The Incredible Hulk (Yes, both of them... don't judge me!!!)
• Miam Vice (Michael Mann at the helm... nice.)

Worst case scenario:

• Alf
• Jem and The Holograms
• Small Wonder (well... maybe as a horror film... yeah, let thet sink in for a minute)
• Bravestarr
• Who's the Boss (With the original cast... yeah, I just threw-up in my mouth)

Keep your dirty mitts off:

• The A-Team (It's just a matter of time...)
  
• The Fall Guy
• Thundarr the Barbarian (Princess Ariel LONG before that stupid mermaid, and Ookla the Mok, need I say more? Love this show so so much).

• Blackstar (Star sword + Power sword = The Powerstar, and then? You get your butt kicked, that's what)

• Galtar and The Goldern Lance (It would appear that I had a thing for barbarian themed heroes... hmmm... I'll have to have analize that).

Jury still out:

• Land of the Lost (Will Farrel? Could be good)
  
• Transformers 2
• GI Joe (even with the teaser out... I still don't know what to think. Though, the thought of Snake Eyes and Stormshadow going at it... well, we could have a real problem with how much I might geek out over that).
  

Go ahead, make my day:

• Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos (Kimo? Tabe? Too Much? And those were just the good guys! How about a bad guy named... wait for it... The Super Ninja! Ohhhhh!!!!)

• Hulk Hogan's Rockin' Wrestling

• Adventures of The Galaxy Rangers (eh... why not?)
• Jonny Quest (could actually be a good movie...)

• Buck Rogers (The original was fun... but wasn't great. A reboot could be delicious).

Oh my!...

And we still haven't even addressed the 80's movie remakes!!! There are whisperings of remaking The Last Starfighter, Weird Science, Footloose and Adventures in Babysitting (kind of drudging the barrel on that last one?) Dimension bought the rights to Short Circuit last year! As I understand it, Red Dawn and RoboCop are already in the works.

I don't know... I feel a sort of naked on the playground about all of this. I am uncomfortable. Like maybe this is something so much bigger than me. I don't think the producers even consider for a second the high potential of heavy emotional scarring these things could leave. My armpits are sweaty, my palms are clammy and my throat is dry. Critically frazzled here.

Hollywood doesn't deserve me...

Maybe I Should Remember More Often

I just read an email from an old childhood friend. He’s doing his second (or maybe third?) tour in Iraq. I think he also did a stint in Afghanistan. Anyway, he reported on the positive conditions he is seeing in Iraq right now and seems genuinely impressed with the progress of the Iraqi police that he has been working with. He says they are really handing over the reins to the Iraqis (a feat he thought nearly impossible amidst firefights and skirmishes back in ’04). In the end he closes with:

“…I am honored to know that the Marines that I fought with in 04 and all the rest of the Marines who were killed have not left their families and died in vain. There is hope here in Iraq, it has a ways to go but just in this short time it's hard to believe the progress even seeing it with my own eyes.”

I really don’t care about your politics on the war- these are good men and women, who go and sacrifice so much, without regard to their own policies and politics. May the Lord bless our brothers in arms. God speed.

Maybe You've Stayed Your Hour!

So, remember the pneumonia? Yup, still around. (Kind of the elephant in the room, huh). But probably not. I hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Yes. Yes, that was a tantrum. Don’t judge me.

Things the pneumonia has given me:

• Total lack of appetite, but no nausea
• Greater-than-usual lack of willingness to answer the phone (my Bishop should consider himself lucky I answered... sheesh)
• Preference for staying in bed all day, wrapped in my blanket, connected to my iPod
• Total indifference over the Bachelor’s “shocking” results
• An immaculate iTunes library
  
• Time to blogstalk- an unsavory characteristic
• A desire to go to work? (more like a fear... of all the catch-up I will have to do. Ugh).
• The occasion to get Lightning McQueen to the Sun Valley Circuit and unlock the Monument Valley challenges. (only because this is a kid friendly game... were jonas not around I would have been killing krauts! And taken hill 30...)
• Weirdly emotional during stupid "feel good" commercials
  
• Feverish dreams that are too ridiculous to explain; one of which The Nurse, in a fit of irrationality, smashed my laptop in the street... what the? I was quite offended and demanded an explanation...which she obviously did not have. Not her finest hour...

I’m sure there’s more... but I don’t care. I’m tired and sick and my iPod is charged, so bye.

Maybe You Would Too!

Actual conversation between my 3-year-old son and The Nurse:

Jonas: Mom, my eyeballs don't work. I need new ones!

The Nurse: What?

Jonas: They don't work... they're burning! They don't fit! They are falling out!

The Nurse: Oh, I think they are good eyeballs...

Jonas: Can you take me to the eyeball store for some new ones?

Before you judge, let that sink in for a minute. Just imagine if you really thought your eyeballs were too small and ready to fall out any minute! Oh the anxiety. Poor little child-of-funny-things-to-say. He really makes me smile.

Maybe The Pneumonia freakin' Sucks Rocks

(totally indicative of how I feel!)

So, I went to a doctor today. Not THE doctor, because we don't have a The doctor. We just go to doctors. While at a doctor, it would appear to all parties involved that I have the pneumonia. Up until today, I had always considered the pneumonia practically a death sentence. But I feel quite fine. (Though my lungs do hurt). But I'm not in the hospital or the morgue for that matter.

According to The Nurse (no, not the lady at the doctor's who was a nurse); The Nurse is my wife. Because, that's what she is, a nurse. So, for us, she is The Nurse. Anyway, The Nurse tells me the pneumonia is only bad if you're already in the hospital. Makes no sense to me, but good to know.

Man, today is so loopy. And mucasy. Oozy yucky grossness.

Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?

May I thank The Nurse for her attentive care by borrowing some choice words:

Thank you for teaching us all that love is thicker than most bodily membranes. But not quite as sticky. And that a heart full of love is better than a body full of people. Merrily, the feet that carried us on the heart's path today will be the feet that soak in the steaming brew of happiness tomorrow.