Mabye Cease and Desist...

Anybody who knows me knows that it pains me to do this- cause nobody hates these guys more than I do. But we have a growing problem in the United States of America and I think it needs to be addressed. What is that problem? The mass exploitation of ninjas.

The use of the word ‘ninja’ has really gotten out of control. Let me show you…

I was up late one night watching what is sure to be a stellar B-movie on SyFy or something like that when I was stirred from my zombie state by an infomercial on this:




The Ninja Kitchen System 1100. What the… !? The LAST place we need those damn ninjas is in the kitchen.


Oh, but it does get worse. How about letting ninjas control your investing!

See, to me, that just seems stupid! The average ninja simply does not care about money. They are trained to do one thing- KILL!!! And that they do rather efficiently. I don't ever see myself running out to get financial advice from one of these masked murdering fools. Do you?

And this one… I just don’t get this one:




Look! They have managed to really eff things up by tossing an otter into the mix. Yah, that’s right, a ninja otter. The Ninja Otters are a marketing firm that helps you build your company and brand. I really fail to see how both a ninja and an otter are going to help you in that regard- the one exception being that your company is in the killing business. But I’m certain these jack waggots think it’s brilliant.

You knew we weren’t going to get too far into this before we found some nerds/geeks who thought calling themselves ninjas was a good idea.

Cause nothing comes to mind quicker when you have a computer problem than a bunch of little guys in black pajamas carrying around sharp swords. Right?

And don’t worry, anyone with mobile-slash-cellular telephone, we got ninjas on tap for that too.

Ninja Mobile is there to manage all your mobile device needs. Thanks heavens for that. If you’re ever at 1801 Century Park East, Suite 2400 Los Angeles, CA just swing on by. With a katana they will permanently implant a cell phone in your head... by cutting it off first!

And finally, we have this guy:

Craig Jarrow. He is the self-proclaimed ninja of time management! Whoa! I have no problem with Craig being a time management consultant or specialist. But I most certainly do take issue with Craig claiming ninja status on the whole time management thingy! Simply put, I can only imagine that having a ninja manage my time could end in pain and bloodshed. And having him tell me how to organize my email inbox just seems like it would be frickin’ annoying as all get out.

Friends, this is just a small sampling of what’s out there. The point is, that this is a growing evil in America today. It’s something we all need to pay attention to and find out how we can do our part. Nine times out of ten, if a ninja is in your house you’re already dead. Do you really want to open that box up an wider?