Maybe I Should Think Harder...

Lightning just struck my brain...

I have The Nurse- highly skilled at connecting I.V.'s... and I have never done this...

+ =

uh... duh?

Seems like an incredibly wasted resource.

Maybe People Are So Stupid Sometimes...

Did you guys see this...

"Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand"

Article states: "It is unclear what caused the bear to attack Potapov, 25, nearly severing one of his legs while dragging him across the ice by his neck"

Unclear? Really??

Umm... Can I take a shot at it Mr CNN Article-Writer-Person? I am going to go out on a limb here and say that the huge predatory creature was sick of these little peons trying to make him skate on ice (a feat hard for humans) and thousands of years of instinctive animal rage kicked in and he did what normal bears do- he used his ridiculous strength and his large sharp teeth and his crazy big razor sharp claws and straight up murdered himself some dinner!

But that's just a guess...

Maybe A New Coat For The Lady...

The Nurse is on a crazy mad hunt for a new coat.

On the prowl.

No- on a MISSION!

The woman suffers from a rare disease called IAECATFT Disorder- "I Am Effing Cold All The Freakin' Time!!!" For sure the doctor who diagnosed that one is a quack! Psssh!

Aesthetics do not matter. Well, not entirely.

She is looking for a portable below 14 degrees mummy sack. She would like to feel like she is under a steaming hot shower, while standing in a 120 degree steam room, with a roaring fire in the corner, forced air heaters on each wall running on high, a heating blanket, a wool sweater, a thermal insulated hoodie, a super thick coat, topped off with five thick blankets hot and fresh out of the dryer- all while standing in the endless burning flames of hell.

Anyone aware of a coat that can simulate that kind of 'warm' environment?

Here is a picture of The Nurse hiking in Moab last July. I think it was like 104 degrees that day...

Maybe It's A Huge Food Industry Conspiracy...

I realized today- quite suddenly actually, that I have been taking Top Ramen's word for it all these years. I mean, I really don't even know what it takes to qualify oneself as the 'Top' of the ramen noodle industry. Do you?

I'm not saying I'm interested in finding me some Bottom Ramen. But if there's a more economic Mid-Tier Ramen, I might be interested in exploring that. Has anyone really looked into this?

But prolly I'll stick with Top Ramen cause I deserve the best.

Maybe I Should Run for Public Office and Drive Real Change...

Why does the future ALWAYS have to look so nerdy?

She looks like she should be wearing one of those goofy skin tight Star Trek jumper suits.

Article says: "BMW released images of the C1-E, described as what a "environment-friendly and highly practical single track vehicle for city traffic could look like in the future."

Blah, blah, blah.... boring.



Can't we all ride one of these in the future...

And we could all look like this...

Renegade!!! Hells yeah! Look how freakin' awesome the future looks now stooges! A future full of Lorenzo Lamas'!

Freakin' fabulous.

(And kind of homo-erotic, but whatevs...)

Maybe There is A Huge Freakin' Void...

Sigh.

Heavier sigh.

This is hard. Really Hard. I am honestly depressed enough that I feel like I should leave work.

Why?

Norm Abram retired The New Yankee Workshop from television today- THAT"S WHY!!!! DANG!!!



Okay, before you start laughing you heartless funky monkeys, consider this- the show has been running for 21 years! Think about that. That means that Norm and I have been together longer than my wife and I (15 years), longer than my kids (7 years for the oldest), longer than I have had my current job (5 years). After 21 years, you really just become accustomed to having that thing as part of your life...



I am not really sure how to proceed from here.

What I do know is that PBS should NOT replace the show, they should just play bagpipe music during that time block. Anything else just seems silly.


I knew there was something wrong last night as I was building my new router table top. There was an obvious disturbance in the force.

Woodworkers- we are on our own now.

(Not to mention, flannel shirts are going to see a huge drop in sales. Just another hit to the already frail economy).


A hug. That's what I need.

A big Norm Abrams bear hug.

All covered in saw dust.

Yeah.

Maybe Change Is A Bad Idea...

I am bringing back the high-five.

Shut your face! This IS a good idea.

I have missed it. What, you haven't?

No more 'bumping fists' or 'bones' or whatever you call it. Not from me! Disease control and swine flu be damned!

I gave my boss a high-five the other day. He seemed to reluctantly reciprocate the dated practice of celebration- but he did it. And I have a strong inclination that deep down, something inside him stirred. Something instinctive. Something primordial. He probably told himself, "Wow! That felt really good!" He'll probably start doing it more often now.

So, I decided to try it again today with a coworker and offered the proverbial olden practice of extending my arm, fingers together, hand flat... and he just looked at me with puzzlement. Yark! I was left hanging. No high-five to be had.

Not one to take defeat easily, I continue the practice boldly at home. The Nurse, as she so often does, provides me with solace. As she, albeit reluctantly, lets me give her a high-five day in and day out. (Sometimes it stings her hand).

Live on dream. Live on...