Maybe My Water-Cooler Monday Confession...

So, I am way out of the loop with the "water cooler talk" today. It's all about The Game, and the commercials and the half-time show, and the parties.

I missed all of it.

I was reading Sam the Pup with my son, coloring with my girls and then playing a few rounds of Apples to Apples Jr. with all of them just before bedtime. When I finally got around to clicking the tube on, they were handing the trophy to Green Bay.

I will read the articles today on ESPN.com and SI.com. I'll watch a few videos as they rehash the big plays over and over. Sure, I'm curious how it went down. But I don't really feel like I missed out on much...

Except for the movie commercials!!!

So, item Numero Uno on my to-do list today was to search out all of the movie adds that premiered last night. Got to say, I was not let down. Three Super Bowl spots def caught my eye:

First off, as many of you know, I have been sucked in to the little cult that thinks JJ Abrams is an all-knowing all-powerful mega-super wizard with magical skills that allow him to make incredibly awesome picture films. Ever since the teaser hit theatres in the previews before Iron Man 2 back in May 2010 I have been following Super 8. You have to admit one thing about Abrams- the guy knows how to dangle a carrot! That's for sure. So after almost a year now, it was great to get a little more (and it was just a little) footage. And that's all you got. I don't think we understand the plot any more now than we did back in May 2010. I guess I feel like the film has more of an "adventure" feel to it with the latest teaser, and with the initial teaser I got more of a "thriller" feel. So that's different. Different in a good way I say. Also, I definitely see the Spielberg influence in this trailer. I am excited for this movie!!!




Next one I found was the new Captain America teaser. Every geek eye in the world is on this film. EVERYBODY knows who Captain America is- whether they like him or not. For over 70 years now Steve Rogers has been a staple of our comic world. Captain America is the great constant reminding us of all the ideals of what the good ol US of A used to stand for. The guy comes from an era that I can barely comprehend. The same place Grandpa came from. A time and place when morals actually existed. For an entire generation he embodied every father, son and brother that went off to fight evil. He was the original Uncle Sam incarnate (not the tax-collecting Uncle Sam of today) off to bash in the heads of the Axis. Captain America is the Fighting Spirit that once existed in the USA. Before we became all entitled and self-loathing.

Needless to say, I get a little peeved when cynics cast him off as a goof. Even more so when they make him out to be a politcal tool, or a "gimick" from the extreme right just because of his patriotic themed costume. You see, unfortunately wrapping yourself in the American flag has come to mean very little today. In fact, I would dare say there are those who abuse the privilege of enshrouding themselves in the stars and stripes- without an inkling of the sacrifice that brought it to existance and maintained it's significance. But the Cap stands as a reminder that divided we fall- a concept totally lost on this generation's warring two-party system.

Am I waxing nostalgic and idealistic on a stupid little movie trailer? Sure. I guess so. But let me tell you something, there are a LOT of other geeks out there like me, who have hopes and dreams of what a Captain America movie could be. We hold the source material as pert near sacred. We are all excited and nervous and just a plain mess for the release of this movie. I, for one, am very encourage and excited by this latest trailer. Captain America looks tremendously promising!



And finally, we look with cautious optimism toward the third installment of my beloved childhood cartoon-themed movies: Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. People have REALLY hated on Bay's first two. They were not without their faults- no doubt. But I feel like a lone ranger by being one who has really enjoyed them. What can I say? Michael Bay is really good at one thing- BLOWING CRAP UP! Watching giant robots battling across planet earth, shape-shifting into awesome cars and jets and stuff... yah, I guess that's my shtick! I mean, Chicago looks like it just gets decimated! Who wouldn't watch that? And at the end of the trailer, when Optimus swoops in and starts kickin' robot stuff! Oh sheesh!!!! If you watched the first two movies and hated them, just do me a favor and watch this trailer and then try and tell me you're not thinkin' "Wow! That looks pretty intense."

Maybe Just A Few More Lines...

I've REALLY got a bone to pick with the music industry. It's something I have been sitting on most of my life and it's really time to just air it out...

Ready? Okay. I HATE IT when a song fades out at the end. Seriously. Hate it. Is there a bigger cop out!? These people are "artists" and they can't take a second to finish their songs on a beat or a note? Really!? Can you imagine the Mona Lisa slowly fading to just blank canvas? Really? Or, the Sistine Chapel slowly panning to a plain unpainted ceiling? Really!? Or the statue of David slowly fading back to unshaped rock? It's absurd! What if the great novels of history just kind of faded to a blank page... rambling on and on through the end, leaving the story line totally unfinished? How is this practice acceptable? I would love to be a fly on the wall when these decisions are made. Is it the band's idea? The producer's? When they are rehearsing and they have 99% of the song hashed out, who says, "Well, I guess we'll just slowly fade out here while we keep playing these last bars over and over and over...?" And a room full of artists just kind of nod their head in agreement? It literally makes no sense. And we're not talking about a song here or a song there. This is a general practice within the industry! It's just plain shocking.

Here's my advice- take the extra time, sit down and finish the damn song. Frickin' ridiculous that we are even having this talk.

Bye.

Maybe I am Going to Keep Trying...

You may or may not have heard of The Civil Wars- a duo consisting of John Paul White and Joy Williams. They released a 4-track EP back in Nov 2009 that was devastatingly beautiful. It promised great things to come from these two. Fast forward nearly a year and a half- they just released their first full length album Barton Hollow today! Worth the wait? You decide... here is a track released on both the EP (Title track) and the album, Poison & Wine:



Also, a very pleasent surprise, The Boxer Rebellion pre-released their new album The Cold Still this week (was due to release Feb. 8th). If you're not excited about that, would it help for me to tell you that the album was produced by Ethan Johns (worked with Kings of Leon and Ray LaMontagne)? Everything I have heard from it so far indicates that it is a very strong follow up to their Union album. These cats are doing it! Good stuff. Here is a track 1 from their new album:



And just for fun, here is my still favorite The Boxer Rebellion song, Flashing Red Light Means Go:




Also, David Lowery released his first solo album today! Don't make me feel old by saying, "Who is David Lowery?" I guess I'll explain for you youngin's... Have you ever heard of a little band called Camper Van Beethoven? Yah- he's that guy. And if that doesn't mean anything to you, then we probably shouldn't be talking. I couldn't find any samplings of it out on the world wide web, but you should probably seek it out on your own and give it a go. If the last 25 years of his career have been any sort of indication, it will be worth it.


I'm going to call it quits there. Go listen. Have fun. Love you all. Bye.

Maybe It's the Least I Could Do...

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word ‘power’? I’m talkin’ brute force, mind blowing, all conquering totally overcoming POWER!!! What do you think of? Handlebar mustaches?

Me too!

Which is why I am a lost traveler in a dreary world. Who are all of these hairless people? These waxed and shaved and groomed creatures? These are not the images our minds conjure when we think of power. No.

Take my hand, and come on a little journey through time…

In the beginning…

This rendering of Scythian horseman dates back to 300 B.C. and is one of the first known depictions of bad-assery… er, the ‘stache in human history. Certainly, there can be no misunderstanding that the mustache was making a statement with its first appearance being a handlebar!!!

Let us move forward in time. Crossing over the Black Sea and weaving our way northward through Europe to the lands of the Norsemen. It was 700 A.D. And if you do not know power, then you have never been robbed, plundered and murdered by one of these…

Vikings!!!

Look at how imposing that ‘stache is!!! Dynasties fell, towns burned, nations collapsed, and conquests were made as shaved and hairless panty waists cowered before these mortal gods of war and hair!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Fast forward another 1000 years or so. “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492”. Enter the Spanish Conquistadores! Sure, their sense of fashion left something to be desired with their plumy hats and MC Hammer pants. But DANG!!! Their face salad was smokin’!

While colonization began to increase behind the Conquistadores, a new breed of bad-assery would be born. This time, upon the high seas! Trust me, while shipping precious cargo between ports, you did not want to bump into one of these guys…

Ahoy matees! Thar blow the pirates! In the vein of the Nordes (Vikings) these gents plagued and plundered the seven sees decimating the finely shaved colonists of Great Britain and Spain with more than just swords and pistols—they imposed great fear with fantastic facial displays of awesomeness.

Let’s continue our journey in time to the now colonized areas of the newly discovered Americas. And don’t get me wrong here, nobody loves and reveres our nation’s Founding Fathers as mush as I do. But dang they dropped the ball on the traditions of mustachery! Adams. Jefferson. Washington. Come on! It was a revolutionary time for our country, but a bleak and dark page in history for the handlebar.

Though, it did not take many years for young men to feel the stirring in their souls and the nakedness of their faces. In 1861, as our nation began to be divided over states rights issues a Civil War (oxymoron, right?) would nearly bring the country to it’s knees. As we look back at this awful moment in time, it is hard to imagine these guys let the straight beards of the North beat them…

Seriously!? We lost? But we have handlbars!

Look at those beauts! Woohey! Slap me down! The ‘Bushwackers’ of the South sure knew what the handlebar was all about—imposing fear on the enemy!

As the South surrendered and the Civil War was ended, it did not take long for Americans to begin pushing the boundaries into the Western frontier… and even more importantly, pushing the boundaries of the ‘stache in its handlebar form. These were displayed by the baddest of the bad, the Cowboys of the American West…

Damnit!

I will shoot you in the head.

Look at Wyatt Earp. Would you mess with that? I dare say you wouldn’t. Just looking at a picture of that ‘stache sends a chill down my spine. That man in that ‘face art’ would shoot you dead if you looked at him wrong. Without even opening his mouth that beauty says, “Sup pardner.” Sup indeed.

Further south, another famous ‘stache was kickin’ A and taking names. His hairy lip said, “I aint takin’ no crap from no one. And most certainly not from a smooth faced gringo!” (Albeit in Spanish). Viva la revelucion!

Pancho Villa! El Guerrero de Mexico. El Padron del bigote. El Merro Merro del pelo de la cara! El que dice- vete a la goma chontes! Ahay!!!

Now, I must be careful here. As we enter into WWI and WWII, I must, with greatest respect, honor the men who fought for freedoms here and abroad. Our grandpas and great grandpas were heroes. The bravest of the brave. The only excuse I can think of for why these great men did not have handlebars was that the military required them to shave. Otherwise, I am most certain that the Nazis and Japs would have straight-up wet themselves when grandpa and friends showed up sportin’ ‘stachies. Staches like this Pres…

I want you to have a handlebar mustache!!!

After Teddy, the handlebar would again dip away from culture. Sure, a brave man would pop up here and another there. But for years, as though it were hibernating, the handlebar would remain silent. But such a beast could not be tamed for long. As we passed through the industrial revolution and the Golden Era of the 50’s and the annoyance of the hippies in the 60’s, the handlebar began to groan and stir from its slumber. A revolution of new rebels and outlaws would be required to lift it from its seeming grave. When some of the brave soldiers of WWII came home, they didn’t want to go to college, they couldn’t afford much, and they wanted to live life on the edge. They found a way. During the war, the invention that was the motorcycle, made leaps and bounds in performance and design. To make them go even faster and look even cooler, these men began to make alterations to the engines and even to the look of the bikes. Cutting off any frills and making them bare bones, bad ass, choppers. It was the beginning of The Biker...

It’s as though the handlebar was waiting for them. Waiting, quietly, for someone bad enough to bring it forth and unleash it upon the masses. One percenters did just that. And they did it in facial fashion!

This pretty much brings us up to date. It is clear, as we study it’s historical pattern, that the Handlebar Mustache is reserved for the most awesome of awesome. The toughest of the tough. The Handlebar is not to be taken lightly. And so, with great reverence, and a salute and nod to those of the past, I present…

My meager attempt.

Long live the
Handlebar Mustache!

Maybe, No Seriously, Check This Out...

Saw this beauty in the mall parking lot last week so I snapped a quick pic with the phone. Solid construction with the 2x4's and OSB. Sleak design. There's really nothing compared to Arkansas engineering. Germans be damned!

Maybe You Should REALLY REALLY Listen To Me...

So, last week's musical recommendation went over about like I expected. Like non kosher beef at a bar mitzvah-- people seemed genuinely horrified. I get it, Social Distortion is an 'acquired taste'. But listen up you schmucks, you really need to listen to me this time. It is worth it. James Vincent McMorrow released his full length album today (greatly overshadowing the now seemingly insignificant fact that my eldest sibling is completing her 40th Birthday- also today). Sorry sis- but this is a BIG deal!

I did a great disservice to each of you by not mentioning his EP release back in October. I am genuinely sorry. It was mostly out of selfishness. Sometimes I just want to keep an artist to myself and call them mine. I've been that way about music most of my life. But over time I begin to realize that the music really does need to be shared.

James will eat your soul. So you should try to prepare yourself for that. Though, try as you may, you will never be prepared for your first experience. Yah... it's like that! And if you're telling yourself, "I just can't be forkin' over $7.99 for a full length album of 13 tracks of hauntingly beautiful music man!" Then shut your trap you cheap drunk and cut your McMorrow teeth on his EP for the mere price of $2.99 (on iTunes).

Don't waste your time listening to Barry give his "State of the Union" talky-thingy tonight. That's all just a circus anyway. I have a WAY better idea for you: download one of the aforementioned albums from Mr. James Vincent McMorrow, curl up in a blanket (solo or, more preferably, with a significant other if one is available) and seriously let yourself be moved and settled all at once by this amazing artist. Go on... do it.

Here's a free sample. It's a fan-made video, but a genuine 100% McMorrow track. You dig? "Follow You Down to the Red Oak Tree"



P.S.- despite my love of and excitement for this album, I am equally depressed and funked about Amos Lee's release last week and Iron&Wine's release this week. I expected SO much more out of these guys! Really a big let down on both. Bummer guys.

Maybe Eat Your Heart Out Cafe Rio...

"Free meal!!!!!"

Gift cert for J-Dawgs sitting in my desk for almost a year now... why yes thank you! That sounds just about perfect.

Mmmmmmmmmm!!!


I am deeply satisfied with lunch.