Maybe It's A Friggin' Milagro

Call me crazy. Yep- go ahead.

See, I sought medical advice from Squishy Pants ryan today while we were instant messaging. No... keep laughing. I get it. I would never do it again. I probably never will. (I don't even know what field of medicine he specializes in! I mean...) So, I was telling him about my shoulder. It's been hurting for almost a year. So Dr. Little-Brother-Drives-Me-Effing-Crazy is all like, "Can you chicken-wing it above your head..." blah blah blah. So, I try and chicken-wing my arm above my head... Pop!

Freakin' sweet!

Healed? No.

Pain much relieved? Yippers.

He probably read this book...

Maybe Creepy Feelings

You know when you get that creepy feeling that someone is watching you...? I have nothing to blog about that feeling.

Maybe This Is A Belated Celebration, But...

Ba da da dah da!!! Dum dee dum da! Ba da da da da duh da duh!!!

Pete and family have arrived to Utah! Hip hip hooray! Three cheers! And all of that shiz!


And a creepy party clown to finish it off...

Bienvenido amigos!!!

Maybe It Hurts

To quote the great Inspector: "Wowzers!" My last post was July 10th. That's over a month without posting. Huh....

So, I have not conducted any research on the matter, but to anyone's knowledge has there ever been a case of a person's head exploding from sinus pressure? If not, I am at serious risk of becoming the very first. Seriously.

Eff.

Kablooey!!!

Maybe We All Need to Communicate Better

I am guessing that most of you are wondering what a day-in-the-life of Instant Messaging between Ryan and I is like...? Well it's your lucky freakin' day! Here is a sampling of our awesomeness from this morning:


me: eh
me: blah
him: what?
me: sigh
me: eh
him: let me guess, you're bored?
me: you know me so well.... you just get me
me: like soul mates
me: but better
him: yeah yeah, enough


---------------------------------------------


me: i love hulu.com
lots
him: thats what I'm doing, but it looks like they may have screwed up the veritechs
him: yeah hulu pretty much rocks
me: the veri...
wha...
so
did
him: veritechs
me: techs
him: you don't know what a veritech is?
me: I do
me: it stands for very technical (veritech)
him: you disgust me
me: because I don't know what versatecs are?
him: thats correct, among other things
me: take your varytacks and shove it then, I know a lot of things


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him: have you ever taken lessons from the :"Look Around You" series?
me: All of them... I am a master in control of my envriomeat... menviromental.... in viral met
him: you don't sound like you've taken lessons
me: enverment
inter viol ment
internet... whatev
my space


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him: I was watching Rocky yesterday (amy had never seen it) she sits down listens for 30 seconds and asks me if he's retarded?
me: LOL!!!!
him: yeah I thought it was classic
she figured that was why it was such a heroic story


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him: why do aliens always want earth?
him: is our planet just awesome?
me: our planet is the shizzle
no wonder aliens are always up in our grill
him: serious
me: our planet just rocks
it makes all da aliens talks
him: we're like nuh uh our planet is sweet so step off
him: stop rapping
me: we chill real mellow
and tell the aliens hello
me: then they get real mad
and try to eat my dad
me: they fire up the laser beam
and we assemble the anti-alien team
him: oh can I be on the team
come on!
me: it's not a real team
it's just a rap I made up
him: what?
suck


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him: Did Alanis actually hand Avril a torch when she took over?
me: I don't believe there was a formal "torch" ceremony
him: did Kelly take over for Avril or is she not quite angry enough
me: Kelly is too "girl next store... nexedstore... necks door" whatevea
him: "Shut your mouth I just can
t take it
again
and again
and agaaaaaaaaain!"
him: thats not angry chick?
me: no
its girly nicks tore
him: but
I couldve swore


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him: looks fun
little bit of a new angle on the classic
me: yis it duz
(to be read in high pitched voice)
me: speaking of new angles
classics
me: and aliens
how did your recording go?
in da studio!
him: it was fun, I'm not super pleased with my performance but amy seems to love it,
biased wife and all that
really it was all for her anyways
me: I am not happy with your perform either
ever
but thats good
me: but that's how all that corporate halabalu goes!
ya know!
me: bull... its all bull
him: but I'm not labeled
just me sucka
me: you signed dint you?
him: aint hardly
me: you got a big recordinglier dealio?
him: wouldn't ever


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me: if you were eating spaghetti-O's I would push your face in them and then hold the camera up to your messy face and say, "Ryan! You just got Spaghetti-O's-ed!!!"
him: but I'm eating goldfish
me: and then when you were eating a salad the next day I would do the same thing and say, "Ryan! You just got saladeded!!!!"
him: the snack that smiles back
me: and then the next day when you were eating Spam, I would say, "Ryan! You just got Spammed!"
ha ha
Spammed
cause like emails and shiz get spammed
me: so- double meaning
him: THe fold sphere is losing integrity?!
him: It's collapsed
me: shit


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me: I know a lot of things
him: about wood
me: yes- wood is good
him: do you know anything else?
me: let me rap for you:
me: wood is good
me: when you're hangin in the hood
me: cause we know it's right
and makes paper so tight
him: you suck at rapping
me: I'm surprisingly good at wrapping!
him: thats not the same thing
me: whateva
him: close though

Maybe I Thought the Vangies Had This Market Cornered?!

What. The. Hell...?




Seriously though, goofy? Er....

Maybe I Need to Get Out More

Sometimes I like to pretend that my 3 year-old son is really my age and he's just really really short and doesn't talk good. And we are buddies hangin' out. So we click on the tube and watch some UFC and I laugh and tell him that I could totally kick his butt.

And he's like, "we're not even in the same weight class. So... whatev."

And I'm like, "Yeah, too bad for you they don't have a Panty Weight in the UFC!!!"

And he's all, "Oh no you di-unt!"

And we laugh like broskies at our witty banter. At some point he usually ruins it by doing something really childish- reminding me that he is my son and not a really short poorly educated 31 year -old male with a small vocabulary. No, he's a thirty pound 3 year-old who punched me in my tenders and dropped me like a sack-o-tatoes on the kitchen floor last week. I cried real tears.

You win round one pal.

What..? Did you say something? I thought you said something.