Maybe Mo Money...

As many of you know, I am ever scheming, thinking, pondering and planning on how to make myself buckets and buckets of money. It’s so important to me. It’s pretty much all I can think about, talk about, eat about, sleep about and … frickin’ money. I'm all Tom Cruisin' like "Show me the money!!!" in Cuba Gooding Jr's face.

Fetchin’ benjamines.

Mulah!

So I have a business proposal for all you readers with some loose change. Listen up.

A couple of days ago I came across a life changing event. I wasn’t looking for it. Ha… isn’t that how all millionaires stumble upon their first million? Too true. Too true indeed.

While perusing an awesome bbq website I stumbled upon the first bacon weave I have ever laid eyes upon

Isn't it beautiful. If any of you knew about a bacon weave before this, all I have to say is you are ridiculous for keeping that to yourself. And you really really should have mentioned it to me.

Anyway, as I was looking at all the beautiful pictures and applications of the bacon weave, I couldn’t help think that the bacon weave was not being used to its full potential. Don’t get me wrong, wrapping a bacon weave around a pork loin that’s been wrapped around some Jimmy Dean sausage stuffed with jalapeños and cheese is absolutely brilliant. It’s almost hard to wrap my head around that…

But you are all chomping at the proverbial bit to hear my great idea.

Bacon weavers need to think bigger. Do me a favor, imagine yourself curled up on your couch, watching your favorite TV show (like Judge Wapner or something) and you feel a bit of a chill. Normally, normal people at this juncture reach for their trustee Snuggie. Of course. And in short order you’ve got a handle on that chill. But it won’t take too long, warm under your Snuggie, before you realize, “Dang it! I don’t have a snack! I need to snack while I watch Wapner dish out his supreme justice in round pear shaped tones.” You can’t leave the warm confines of your Snuggie. What’s one to do?

Enter the Bacon Weave Snuggie. Think of it—you get to wrap yourself in the goodness of a warm Snuggie, tightly weaved out of juicy pieces of delicious bacon. You’re cozy. What about that snack? Oh look! There’s a tasty looking corner on your Bacon Weave Snuggie. Mmmmmmmmm!!! With the Bacon Weave Snuggie you really do get to have your cake and eat it too!

I am accepting cash, checks, money orders and bacon donations to get this idea some traction. I will also set up a PayPal account wherein you can send me money—as much money as you can. You do not want to miss out on this. As mostly my friends and family read this blog I am giving you guys the first opportunity to take advantage and get on board with the Bacon Weave Snuggie and send me money.

No seriously, send me money.

Jeeze.